October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
When does jealousy become control and attentiveness cross into surveillance? Physical assault may be the most visible sign of domestic violence, but abuse also can involve repeated humiliation, intimidation, isolation, monitoring, and financial control.
Recognizing patterns can help a person experiencing abuse protect themselves and seek support, and it can guide families, friends, schools, workplaces, health care providers, and other community organizations in responding effectively.
“Recovery from domestic abuse requires a network of care,” said Viki Kormann, NewBridge Executive Director of Counseling Services and Clinical Director of Christian Health’s LiveWell Counseling.
Recognize the Signs of Domestic Violence
While physical intimate-partner violence is widespread, psychological aggression affects a larger share of adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Psychological aggression often is not immediately recognized as abuse. An intensely jealous partner may characterize possessiveness as love. Constant calls and texts may be presented as concern. Restrictions on where someone goes, what they wear, whom they see, or how they spend money may be disguised as protection.
Abusive relationships involve a pattern of actions intended to establish power and control. In addition to causing physical pain or injury, domestic violence may include:
- Humiliating or insulting a partner
- Isolating someone from family and friends
- Monitoring phones, email, social media, or location
- Controlling access to money, transportation, health care, or employment
- Pressuring or forcing sexual activity
- Damaging belongings
- Threatening a partner, children, relatives, pets, or oneself
- Blaming the victim for abusive outbursts
Preventing Domestic Violence Through Education
The CDC recommends several domestic violence prevention strategies, including teaching safe and healthy relationship skills, engaging influential adults and peers, creating protective environments, strengthening families’ economic security, and supporting survivors.
Schools, colleges, workplaces, health care organizations, and other community groups can contribute by providing education about healthy relationships, training people to recognize abuse, and establishing clear procedures for connecting someone with help.
Conversations with children and teenagers about healthy relationships should emphasize mutual respect, consent, personal boundaries, independence, and resolving disagreements without intimidation. Adults also can model those behaviors and challenge jokes, comments, and attitudes that excuse possessiveness, humiliation, or violence.
“Although teen years are when children begin to practice autonomy, it is a vital time to stay closely connected to them,” Kormann said. “This allows parents and other adults to be on the lookout for signs of isolation or restrictions imposed within dating relationships.”
Respond Without Judgment
If you are concerned about someone, speak with them privately. Describe the behavior you have noticed, express concern, and listen without judgment.
Avoid demanding that the person leave the relationship or criticizing them if they are not ready to do so. Leaving can be complicated and may increase danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline recommends respecting the survivor’s decisions while helping them explore their options and connect with trained advocates.
Do not confront the person suspected of abuse. That could escalate the situation or further isolate the survivor. A domestic violence advocate can help develop an individualized safety plan, whether the person remains in the relationship, is preparing to leave, or has already left.
Build a Network of Support
Survivors may need support to obtain safe housing, counseling, legal advocacy, financial assistance, health care, transportation, and other practical support.
The team at NewBridge’s NJ FamilyCare Housing Supports Program recently helped a woman experiencing domestic violence find a safe place to live and put her in touch with several community resources.
“We helped arrange counseling, safety-related assistance, and legal help,” said Melissa Reiley, Assistant Director of Community Outreach and Support.
Help is Available
Domestic abuse can have lasting effects on emotional and mental health. Our skilled clinicians and physicians support survivors as well as people experiencing other mental health concerns. If you or someone you love is struggling with the effects of domestic violence or another mental health concern, NewBridge Services and LiveWell Counseling offer individualized outpatient treatment to help you move forward.
“Our counselors walk beside survivors, helping them manage fear, build coping tools and connect with resources that keep them safe,” Kormann said.
To learn more, visit NewBridge Services Outpatient Counseling or call (973) 316-9333 or visit LiveWell Counseling or call (201) 848-5800.
We also offer inpatient trauma-informed care in a safe space for women only. To learn more please visit Haven at Ramapo Ridge or call (201) 848-5500.
For immediate support call the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233).
